Saturday, September 13, 2014

The '5-months-later-I'm-sorry' post

Yeah,
I sort of forgot how to life in the period between last April and 35 seconds ago. I have no fewer than 5 blog post drafts idling in the cobwebs that is this blog.
What I intend to do is not post them considering the majority are at least 3 months out of date. What I intend to do instead is to start from scratch and write some shiny new blog posts for all 1 of you to enjoy.

Tomorrow.
(I may have remembered this blog exists, I haven't become less of a procrastinator in the process. Get off the crazy pills friend)

Expect more. Soon.

Yours in laziness,
- Claire

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

An Open Letter To My Dearest Neighbours

My dearest Neighbours,

I hope this letter finds you well, and thankfully by the sound if it it finds you in very high spirits. Now, as I'm certain it hasn't escaped your notice that the month of April is upon it. This can be a very exciting time for many as it bring with it the season of Spring and of course all things Easter. A time of jubilation indeed, that by the sound of it every night this week you truly are making the most of.
I am writing this letter to you as a friendly reminder. The month of April is also considered by many, according to the lore, as 'study month' (I believe it's pronounced 'stuh-dee', but no one can be truly certain.)
The reason for my imparting of these pearls of wisdom is twofold:
Firstly I enjoy the sound of my own voice, or in this case typing so I felt this a valuable outlet, and secondly the fact that you haven't shut the f*ck up over the last week is proof enough that you are probably unaware what a book is, never mind having opened one at any point over the last 12 months.
You see it may have escaped your notice that the day tends to begin before 3pm when you emerge bleary eyed and reeking of shame from the darkened cavern you call a bedroom. Yes, the AM,  the time of day when people who want to get things done, you know, do things. I like to consider myself one of these people however it proves a more difficult task after a night of you charming fellows standing by my bedroom window screaming for Adam. (Not to say Adam isn't a lovely chap, I'm sure he is).
I am by no means the most diligent student. I procrastinate with the best of them. However, as I aspire to more than (as I've heard you yell oh so loudly in the small hours) simply 'being a f*cking legend' I would enjoy to get to sleep at a reasonable hour, or at least drift off to something more relaxing than the sound of Wonderwall being butchered more than usual.

I would say I wish you well, but that is proving difficult in my current sleep derived state, so I leave you with this: Shut the f*ck up or I will be introducing you to a whole world of pain, because no matter how bad a drunken rendition of Wonderwall sounds I'm sure it pales in comparison to anything from Nickleback's back catalogue. Aren't you?

- Claire

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The Idiocy of the Collective.

So lets say you have been living under a sizeable rock for the  last 18-24 years. For some unknown reason you picked the beginning of last week to emerge from your mossy cocoon and, after getting to grips with the iPhone and shake in the bag chicken, you decide to check on the newsworthy items of the week. Imagine that last weeks headlines are the only perception of society you have. You would seriously think that today's so called 'young adults' were the biggest pack of fucking idiots to walk the face of the earth.
I am referring of course to Neknomination. The online drinking game where you down a pint of beer alcoholic beverage then nominate 2 of your friends to do likewise. It started off pretty innocently with people (from personal experience mainly men) downing a pint of beer/larger/ale in a pub. Obviously not the wisest of pastimes but relatively harmless. Then the morons got involved. The contents of the pints first became a higher percentage, then mixes of various spirits and finally began to incorporate various non alcoholic substances including but not limited to catfood, live fish and urine. Yes. I shit you not. Someone drank his own piss. On top of the concoctions the scenarios have also become more and more extreme in a bid to outdo the nominator. Over the last week I saw videos of people downing their concoctions while behind the wheel of a moving car, on a golf course, in the gym, standing on a car and more a more men doing them in silk thongs. Guys, please put your testicles away. Ain't nobody got time for that.
Of course anybody with half a brain could tell that this was a dangerous and needed to be discussed, of course the media weren't going to give a shit until they had something juicy to report. Unfortunately they didn't have to wait long. At time of writing there have been 4 recorded deaths thanks to the 'internet phenomenon'.
Now trust me, I've heard it all. 'it's fun', 'it's just a bit of craic', 'it's no big deal'. What people don't seem to realise is the fun aspect ended the second someone died. I've also come to notice that anyone who is against Neknomination tends to be branded as 'dry' or, my personal favourite 'the anti-bants', but you know if not risking alcohol poisoning/getting killed doing a ridiculous stunt makes me dry I think I'm OK with that.
I would truly love to know, out of the people who have completed a nomination, if I were to run up to them on the street hand them a pint of miscellaneous contents and ask them to down it how fast would the majority of them tell me to fuck off? I would hope (and am pretty confident it would be) the vast vast majority. So what made them do it in the first place? The collective stupidity. If everyone is doing something it has to be OK right? Nothing can go awry, right? It goes right back to '....but everyone is doing it' and noone is allowed to think for themselves if everyone is doing it.
I guess this is my rant. I'm not saying don't take part in Neknomination, I'm saying don't be a moron in general. It's not that hard. If you feel the need to do something that the internet is telling you to do then take part in something worthwhile. In the face of the Neknomination controversy things like Raknomination (random act of kindness) have taken off. Granted someone shouldn't need Facebook to tell them to not be an asshole, but unfortunately some people do. Again the collective are idiots, but if being idiots makes people do something nice for someone then it's not all bad.
In the meantime, I'm going to take my current perception of humanity and crawl under the newly vacated rock. Call me when the world improves.

-Claire

Sunday, December 8, 2013

An Amalgamation of the Last Few Weeks

So over the last few weeks I have started no less than 4 blog posts. My reasoning for telling you this?
1. It shows you that I actually haven't completely neglected this, and
2. It makes me feel like I actually attempted to do something over the past few weeks.

So the titles of my failed blog posts ranged from simply 'Stress' to 'F*ck life and everything in it' (it was a working title) so you can imagine what the weeks consisted of.
Final year is, to put it nicely, a pain in the neck. Over the last 2 weeks alone, 2 boring topics have been presented on, over 12,000 words of nonsense have been written and 150 pages of words have been read (of course about 100 hours worth of YouTube has also been watched so you know, swings and roundabouts). To say Christmas break is welcome, if not to slightly alleviate the workload,  is an understatement.

I'm also going travelling again. Cue gasps of shock and awe. Well that is if air travel doesn't go ABSOLUTELY F*CKING INSANE AGAIN. Sorry, allow me to explain.
Yesterday (you're probably reading this 4 years after I post it after being linked from a site on the 'bad side' of the internet, so accurate dating isn't really an issue) a friend of mine was supposed to arrive. Note the 'supposed to'. She clearly didn't as flight decided to, you know, not work. Of course Ryanair, being the helpful compassionate company that they are offered all the help they possibly could to their stranded passengers in Gatwick. In the form of leaving the building and not giving them their luggage back for an extended period of time. Hurray, circumstance!
My friend will now be arriving in the land of Shamrock and ever mounting unemployment tomorrow morning when we pack what would have been 4 days of sightseeing and alcohol into 2. Challenge accepted.

On Thursday it's my turn to get into an enclosed flying death-tube. More commonly referred to as 'an aeroplane'. Rescue Remedy at the ready. I shall be gracing both Bath and Cardiff with my presence. I am excited. Doctor Who related things live in Cardiff. Oh....and my dear friend who I'm definitely not using as a means to see these Doctor Who related things.

All I can say is expect pictures of the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey variety.

- Claire

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Happy Birthday To.......Me?

Good evening human.
So this post is,  shock horror, a tad overdue. Oh well. #YOLO right? (I completely understand if you never want to read another word I write ever again)
So October 28th was a very very special day. It was the anniversary of the birth of, lets face it, an unforgettable figure. A person who has touched the lives of many and whose importance can never be overstated. So if you're reading Mr. Gates. Happy Birthday!!
Oh, and I may have turned 21.

So this is it I officially have 1 year left before I'm 'past it'. Before it's time to be a real life grown up. This prospect terrifies me, however if the first few days of twenty-somethinghood is anything to go by it's going to be a year filled with funtimes.
The weekend consisted of family, eating fry ups (thankfully I have yet to develop an intolerance), family, tea, presents, family, tea, large dinner and family in that order. I ate so much I thought I would never stand up again. This premonition is thus far proving exceedingly accurate.
The following day consisted of yet more eating and the spending of an obscene amount of legal tender. Like...truly obscene. However out of it I gained an awesome new phone (It's nice to be able to plug out my phone and not have to sprint the length of the house so it can be plugged back in before it dies), clothes, make-up and a spectacular case of spenders guilt. This escapade was followed by a meal with some lovely people. The less said about this he better, though all I will mention is 1. We were in the particular establishment for 3 hours and 2. We were almost overcharged by €100. I bet you can guess what the next step in our evening was. Isn't it true that every 21 year old frequents the local public house for a few beverages before sauntering home? Well yes, unless they get sidetracked by the midnight screening of Thor 2 and end up seeing that instead. I fail at being an adult. (In other news, excellent film)

I also managed to come away with a decent haul which included:

  • A sword of Gryffindor letter opener
  • An array of awesome mugs (special nods to Anchorman and GOT)
  • Books
  • Stationery
  • Socks (of the fuzzy variety!)
  • Breaking Bad poster (Aaron Paul. Babe)
  • An alpaca related t-shirt
  • Doctor Who stamps (I squealed)
  • A way of minimising spenders guilt in the form of vouchers
All in all I had one awesome time and thoroughly appreciate everything everyone did for me. Here's to 365 days of remaining youth. In the meantime there are many essays I should be writing. Expect the next post to not exactly be full of the joys of life. I know you're looking forward to it!

- Claire

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Growing Up is Overrated

Ever get bitch slapped by reality? Like I mean really properly walloped? This week I was left black and blue and most definitely ended up with a (thankfully brief) loathing of life.
Now please don't get me wrong, I always knew that being an adult was nothing short of well....not fun, but suddenly the prospect of actually becoming an adult isn't all that far off.
So what brought about this realisation of impending doom....sorry, impending adulthood? 2 spine chilling words, 'Recruitment Fair'. Up until this point the words recruitment fair were synonymous with free stationary and nothing more. This year however I actually went with a purpose, to find a career that would allow me to be able to eat at least semi-regularly for the next 40 odd years. An hour later I staggered back into the warm (however fleeting it may be) embrace of student life with a bag full of various complementary items and some serious food for thought.
So what did I learn this week? It's bullet point time!
  • Growing up, as I may have previously stated, is not a nice thing.
  • Having to face the harsh reality of actually getting a job is positively terrifying.
  • If you play your cards right when talking to recruiters you can walk away with a lot of stuff you don't actually need but are happy to have anyway.
  • Apparently Leaving Cert points are still important.
  • Similarly UCAS points are also important and converting the former into the latter is a pain in the neck.
  • A lot of businesses want to send you to Taiwan. 
  • Signing up to websites like Grad Ireland  or Prospects UK  is well worth your time.
  • Even though all this is scary as hell it's pretty damn exciting at the same time.
Let the applications begin!
- Claire

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

'...The Only Thing Certain Is That Everything Changes'

The past few weeks of my existence have provided me with ample opportunity to reflect on life. That said the past few weeks of my existence have also provided me with ample opportunity to be a productive human being but I decided that a little bit of life reflection doesn't require getting off the couch.
As you may (or may not, shame on you) have noticed from the title I have been listening to Frank Turner again. Tape Deck Heart to be specific. I recently gave it another listen through and became hooked on Polaroid  Picture. (It became my new 'I-must-listen-to-it-on-repeat-until-I-hate-it' song). Combine this with 2 pretty radical changes in living environment within the space of 6 weeks and it's only natural that one would begin thinking about the transient nature of the day to day.
Personally, over the last 12 months I have gone through quite radical changes. I moved country. I made friends with people who I would never have stood a chance of meeting. I said goodbye to things that were holding me back and hello to things I never ever thought I would do and it led me to think that the fact life is so unpredictable and so prone to change isn't necessarily (as I had previously firmly believed) a bad thing.
Yeah, sometimes change sucks. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do be it to a relationship or to someone you care about or something you love but as I learned recently it doesn't suck forever.
I've also recently become a firm believer of what will be will be (I guess it can be attributed to *shudder* 'growing up'). It you were meant for that job you would have gotten an offer, maybe that module wouldn't have suited you anyway, if people are meant to stay in contact they will or If you're not supposed to be with someone you won't be. No amount of pretending will change that. I guess the idea that the only reason something went to shit was because it wasn't supposed to happen from the get go makes it easier to deal with the inevitable lows life throws at you. Likewise when something fantastic happens to you it adds to the euphoria to believe that this moment of happiness was meant for you all along.
Apologies for the slight ramble of a post. I started writing this with no idea of what I actually wanted to say. I promise the next one will be happier. Maybe jump on the ever growing bandwagon and discuss GTA. We shall see.
Bis später
- Claire